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[2025/11/28, 16:10:55] James: Pretty tired

[2025/11/28, 16:11:05] James: It’s nice to have time sitting down with my family and reading a book

[2025/11/28, 16:11:13] James: These things need to stop being pathologised

[2025/11/28, 16:11:26] James: Depersonalisation is a normal aspect of being human.

[2025/11/28, 16:15:50] James: .

[2025/11/28, 16:17:11] James: Oh yeah and the videos around the recent event have vanished from my phone, also from recently saved items, and from iCloud. They are nowhere.

[2025/11/28, 16:17:16] James: These are all gone.

[2025/11/28, 16:17:27] James: Just like the writings next to each nibbana encounter

[2025/11/28, 16:17:36] James: Weird shit, yeah?

[2025/11/28, 16:40:38] James: .

[2025/11/28, 16:41:24] James: Super thin meat is still super fresh, 1 week bast use by date. I worked on a meat counter for ages and this just doesn’t happen.

[2025/11/28, 16:41:27] James: A says that it’s because meat doesn’t go bad. Which - yeah - I know that narrative

[2025/11/28, 16:41:34] James: But there are just too many coincidences

[2025/11/28, 16:41:47] James: When you spot weird connections people say that you’re reading too much into things

[2025/11/28, 16:41:56] James: But what if everyone else is reading too little into them?

[2025/11/28, 16:42:16] James: And raising the possibility that there’s something else going on is labelled as ‘finding reasons where there are none’

[2025/11/28, 16:42:30] James: But why isn’t consensus reality labeled as finding reasons where there are none too?

[2025/11/28, 16:42:38] James: Who is to say which is right and which is wrong?

[2025/11/28, 16:42:44] James: Real and not?

[2025/11/28, 16:42:49] James: Objective reality?

M

[2025/11/28, 16:42:57] James: Viewed through subjective eyes

[2025/11/28, 16:43:08] James: How can you claim that such a thing exists when all we have is subjectivity?

[2025/11/28, 16:43:21] James: The average of a few billion subjectives is not objective

[2025/11/28, 16:43:33] James: It’s just a point in space that centres on nothing

[2025/11/28, 16:43:40] James: Reality is what you make it. All these platitudes

[2025/11/28, 16:44:01] James: Maybe they’re not platitudes and we just forgot because we started measuring things in arbitrary units rather than with our base senses

[2025/11/28, 16:44:05] James: Who knows.

[2025/11/28, 16:44:17] James: I’m just a scientist of the mind trying to figure this out

[2025/11/28, 16:44:30] James: But the labeling of these things as pathology destroys relationships

[2025/11/28, 16:44:37] James: Utterly ruins them

[2025/11/28, 16:44:44] James: Like that first psychiatrist tried to

[2025/11/28, 16:44:53] James: There is no objective reality

[2025/11/28, 16:45:04] James: Who the fuck is Mr Objective who told you ‘this is the truth’?

[2025/11/28, 16:45:19] James: You can only know the truth with your own senses. Believe nothing that other people tell you

[2025/11/28, 16:45:23] James: This is what the Buddha taught also

[2025/11/28, 16:45:37] James: .

[2025/11/28, 17:00:41] James: We are reaching the point where A helps me to release the scaffold again

[2025/11/28, 17:01:05] James: But going into this kind of phase is not a choice, and neither is coming out of it.

[2025/11/28, 17:01:24] James: Both A and myself are exhausted and can’t handle any more

[2025/11/28, 17:02:13] James: Any other person would have left

[2025/11/28, 17:02:28] James: Even she said so

[2025/11/28, 17:02:40] James: But through sickness and health, and all that

[2025/11/28, 17:02:56] James: Maybe this is why marriages were handled by the church

[2025/11/28, 17:03:05] James: They needed to remind people of this dynamic

[2025/11/28, 17:03:12] James: Because I think it happens all the time

[2025/11/28, 17:03:24] James: And maybe this is why divorce is on the rise

[2025/11/28, 17:14:45] James: .

[2025/11/28, 17:14:55] James: And I’ve started receiving concerned messages from my family

[2025/11/28, 17:14:58] James: This is a good sign

[2025/11/28, 17:15:15] James: Pulling me back to the same reality

[2025/11/28, 17:15:26] James: Releasing the scaffold

[2025/11/28, 17:15:29] James: It’s …

[2025/11/28, 17:15:31] James: It’s intense

[2025/11/28, 17:15:41] James: And when you come back you question everything

[2025/11/28, 17:16:06] James: And the scaffold is only ever an explanatory model so you can fix the other one - the world-facing one

[2025/11/28, 17:16:11] James: … I think.

[2025/11/28, 17:16:29] James: But the Buddha talked of two world and Jesus talked of the kingdom of heaven being within

[2025/11/28, 17:16:31] James: Whayever

[2025/11/28, 17:16:50] James: It’s fucking clear that these drugs they prescribe to make people ‘normal’ do precisely the opposite

[2025/11/28, 17:17:09] James: Nothing like this ever happened before valproate and aripirazole and now it’s almost constant

[2025/11/28, 17:17:16] James: I really hope this is the last time…

[2025/11/28, 17:17:31] James: This doctors fucked me the fuck up

[2025/11/28, 17:19:18] James: .

[2025/11/28, 17:19:21] James: I barely remember it

[2025/11/28, 17:19:27] James: I tore all the old curtains off this room

[2025/11/28, 17:19:37] James: Getting rid of the old

[2025/11/28, 17:19:46] James: Thank fuck I’m coming back to the same world as everyone else now