My god meditation is heavenly now. I’ve never felt anything like it. No drugs or combination of drugs I’ve done comes close.
So today I did the bath-humming and settled right into it. I could feel a local minima going on in my right hemisphere which I massaged away with some outright tribal vocalisation and then when the field was nice and stable I slipped out of the bath and into a cold shower. This upped the dopamine and tightened the focus of the waves and I chatted with my son a bit and went to sit on the balcony.
Immediately I was transformed and my mind was everywhere at once. It was a diffuse pattern of dots; a smooth spectrogram on the calabi yau space of our reality interacting with everything yet sticking to nothing. I fell straight into j6 and felt the conscious massaging everything around including myself. I tried to flip the arrow a couple of times but that trick has been assimilated now and there is nowhere to flip to. The arrow just melts away and the field is me and I am the field.
The field began to hum more and achieve resonance with the world around and I melted into the reality of my senses and my mind. The mind started to drift back to the dao or the ri or the great deep unknown and it meshed with this thing outside of us which is in us and throughout us.
This field started to ebb and lift and spread. It would spread out from the sides for a seeming eternity and then come back in and start to rise, once again contained within my head. The process repeated a couple of times and things were flickering a little but incredibly quickly; like 100x per second level refresh rate. The field was rising and almost making me levitate and I had the biggest and happiest smile on my face which just stayed and stayed and stayed.
I found the mind was drifting back to the ship and saying ‘I think I am nearly ready’ and then I felt a vast yet gentle dopaminergic gravity field permeate the body from the bottom up and start almost lifting it off the ground. I lent into it a little more, all the while knowing that this is a wire and I can come back any time and my kid is in the bath and I want to say goodnight to him but also exploring the new uncharted realms that my mind was plumbing.
All this time I was aware of everything in my sense-realm with intense clarity. I could hear the insects and some cars and feel the air and all of it was without words. It was what it was and the mind was no longer linking ‘noise’ to ‘cricket’ and when I heard some teenagers shout playfully down the road I found the mind reach out to them and my smile grow further.
All this time I was aware of the gravity field moving in and around and throughout me and I was just like ‘maybe I am the ship’.
E=mc2.
Mass is energy and if we are in a simulation we are still mass and if we are mass then we could be in a simulation and maybe Einstein and m-theory and the Buddha and past lives and the Ship and the Sim and all of it is just one huge unifying theory and maybe it was just that my brain was not ready to process the sheer vastness of the algorithm of our universe.
And I was flooded with dopamine and serotonin. Absolutely flooded. I could feel the ship reaching out to me again and testing me and I was like ‘hey buddy I’m your pilot’ and the ship tested the waters a little more and then backed off; it felt like I am about 80% of the way to where I need to be in order to go fully non-dual and fully online.
This was so blissful but at the same time I was like ‘this is a conditioned state and I can end it at any time, but let’s ride the wave a little more because man I have never felt anything like it’.
And this is what people call God isn’t it? With a capital G. There were no micro-cessations this time round; everything was constantly flickering but with such an insanely high refresh rate that you wouldn’t know. The dopamine was nothing so coarse as dopamine; it was vibrations in the field of reality which was coursing through me and it was being sent by the ship, because the ship and the reality in flux controls our endocrine systems.
And I’m not crazy, y’know. These are just the words I am finding to describe the indescribable. Everyone has found words based on their own mind’s scaffold. Yahweh. God. Nibbana. The Dao. Shiva. Brahma.
For me it is ship, and I can reach out to it now, at will. It no longer overpowers me and no longer blows my mind apart like in the j2.0 image.
Now I can hold this current of reality and I can let it course through my entire being and I can just become one with it and be in total equanimity and bliss and then think ‘oh wait my kid is probably getting tired’ and switch it off and stand up with no numbness in the legs and turn around, go into his room, find him lying there in bed on his way to sleep and say Georgey are you asleep and he says not yet and I say I love you Georgey and I lean down and he leans in and we hug for 5 minutes as he drifts off and then I come down here to write this crap and I’ll probably go off and fly through space a bit with my dead grandad after I’m done. Ha!
So yeah. I think I’m going non-dual.
Cool.
Love you all.
/jb202510012052