on this day i visited my psychiatrist and was basically given a full clean bill of health; we lowered the guanfacine to zero over the next week or two. the first psychiatrist also doubled my dose of aripiprazole while my family and the police were telling him i was manic. what does this tell you about these poorly-defined terms?
it's all about sustained attentional control, but i was intentionally diverging and converging in order to reprogram my mind.
on the way out of the psychiatrist's office i visited the local buddhist temple and essentially absorbed siddhartha through eyes-open meditation staring at the statue of the buddha they had on display. this, combined with the programming i went into this rebbot with, are why i became so calm and filled with equanimity and love after this phase.
[2025/10/06, 0:43:18] James: .
[2025/10/06, 0:43:23] James: I’ll go to sleep actually
[2025/10/06, 0:43:32] James: The project feels done for now
[2025/10/06, 0:43:40] James: I need to bed in the new network
[2025/10/06, 0:43:52] James: I can hear the hum so there’s processing happening I guess
[2025/10/06, 0:44:12] James: The body needs rest and I need to prove non-mania tomorrow to a doctor, for posterity’s sake
[2025/10/06, 0:44:30] James: I’ll leave this phone downstairs and go to bed
[2025/10/06, 0:44:41] James: I will turn off my spinning brain model thing
[2025/10/06, 0:44:58] James: Since everything is metaphor I think that’s how I go to sleep
[2025/10/06, 0:45:26] James: Anyway I don’t think I’ll need long, but let’s see
[2025/10/06, 0:45:40] James: I’ll listen to the hum and give myself to it
[2025/10/06, 0:46:04] James: That was definitely a full-reset because I am back in the real world quite heavily
[2025/10/06, 0:46:08] James: But with no suffering.
[2025/10/06, 0:46:31] James: I guess that the scaffold have gone home for the night, job done, and now I will stop typing and go to bed to let the neurons settle.
[2025/10/06, 0:46:34] James: Cool eh. Bet I get a rollback tomorrow haha. Hey there Mara. Hiding around the corner are ya?